Some people say your first love is unforgettable.
I say your first delusional crush is unforgettable.
Especially when it had you ready to abandon your lifelong religion just because a linebacker said you were cute.
Let me explain.
In high school, I had a huge, swoony, butterfly-stomach crush on this guy. He was a football player. A linebacker. But not the buff, gym-rat kind. No – he was more of a cuddly linebacker. Big, huggable energy. And yes, I asked him for hugs. Multiple times. Like, enough times for him to probably tell his friends “This girl’s family must not show affection, man… she’s out here collecting hugs like Pokémon.”
Anyway, he was also Mormon. And I was raised Catholic. Specifically go to church every weekend Catholic. So of course, when my crush started spiraling from “He’s so cute” to “This man will be my husband,” my family caught on.
One day, I was joking around (kind of) saying something like,
“I’m going to have to turn Mormon.”
And when I say my dad turned into a full-on religious TED Talk presenter – I mean he sat me down and gave me this school like talk about how Mormonism and Catholicism differ, why we’re Catholic, and how spiritually dangerous it would be to convert just for a guy.
And the whole time … well I was just sitting there like: “Mm-hmm. Yup. Totally agree… I would still become Mormon though.”
This was the power this boy had over me. He didn’t even call me back after our first interaction. He literally ghosted me after I missed his first call (because I was eating dinner with my family, my bad), and I still had the nerve to be loyal. The commitment!
Looking back now, I can laugh at it, but I genuinely remember being willing to shift my entire identity for a guy who supposedly said I was cute and gave me a hug. That’s how intense teen crushes are. They override logic, identity, religion, and sometimes – reality itself.
Do I regret it?
No.
Because I think that kind of cringe is pure.
That kind of blind loyalty to a crush is part of the human experience.
And while I’m no longer ready to convert for someone just because they smell nice and wear football pads, I do look back and thank that girl – for loving out loud, even if it made no sense.
***
Would I become Mormon for someone now?
No. But I might attend a service if they brought snacks.
Would I abandon my entire belief system over a boy again?
Also no. But I might briefly consider it if he says “You’re funny” and has a good jawline.
***
Moral of the story:
Crushes make us wild.
“Teenage girls are, like, mysterious and dark and dangerous”, **Cue in Keely from Ted Lasso here.
Either way, sometimes you gotta thank your younger self for being brave, bold, and borderline unhinged.
Because hey, at least she wasn’t boring.
Love, Loops