For the past few months, I’ve been on and off with a lot of things. My course. My ukulele. My dreams of learning music theory. Working out. Getting my life together in some vaguely inspiring, Pinterest-board kind of way. You know – the usual.
And in between those things, there’s been a quiet constant: puzzles.
Thousand-piece puzzles, to be specific.
At first, I thought it was just a cute little hobby. A cozy way to pass time when I didn’t feel like doing anything else. But I’ve realized… it’s more than that.
Every time I feel overwhelmed, uncertain, or like I’m falling short of all the things I should be doing, I start a new puzzle. And then I tell myself, “Okay. Once I finish this one, I’ll get back to the important stuff.”
Spoiler alert: I usually don’t. At least not right away.
For a while, I thought this was just another version of procrastination. Like, who needs a break when you’ve got five unfinished goals staring at you from a vision board? But now, I think puzzles are actually my brain’s way of saying, “Hey, everything else feels like too much right now. But this? This I can handle.”
And maybe that’s not so bad.
Maybe the problem isn’t that I’m doing too many puzzles. Maybe the problem is thinking I have to earn rest. That if I’m not being productive every second, I’m wasting time. That relaxing is only okay once I’ve “deserved” it.
But I’m a grown ass woman. If I want to start a puzzle instead of studying code or playing ukulele or journaling about my inner child, I can. And I don’t need to explain it to anyone – not even myself.
So next time I reach for a puzzle box, I’m not going to shame myself for it. I’m going to thank myself. Because maybe what I really need isn’t more hustle.
Maybe what I need… is peace in little pieces.
Love, Loops