Step 1:
Send him memes.
Not just one meme. A stream of memes. An endless drip-feed of chaotic, slightly unhinged Pedro Pascal-related humor.
Step 2:
Utilize Kelly Kapoor’s Theory of Desperation.
If I DM him enough, the universe (and Pedro’s subconscious) will eventually conclude that he does in fact need me.
(Science.)
Step 3:
Apply Michael Scott’s Pavlovian Hot Guy Method.
Flood Pedro’s brain with so much content – funny Pedro memes, hot Pedro photos, adorable Pedro interviews – that eventually when he thinks “meme,” “cute,” “wife material,” he thinks of me.
Step 4: Embrace Masked Cumbia Chaos.
Since Pedro is suddenly into posting dance videos, it’s time to unleash my true form:
- The girl who, years ago, secretly bought a horse mask, a frog mask, and a cow mask because she wanted to dance freely without caring what anyone thought.
- The girl who understood that sometimes you need to hide your face to fully unhinge your soul.
So now, the plan is to record masked Cumbia and El Sonidito dance videos, and DM them to Pedro with a little intro like:
“Hey, I noticed you’re into dancing now… so here’s me unhinged. Hope you enjoy.”
If that doesn’t make me wife material, nothing will.
Step 5: Wait patiently. Manifest. Giggle. Possibly learn TikTok dances involving ranchera remixes.
Because somewhere, deep in his soul, Pedro Pascal will know:
“I don’t know why, but this masked dancing girl is the love of my life.”
😌